on the way home/ day twelve.

I'm on the plane to go home now... I can't believe it. It has been two weeks. TWO WEEKS. We are headed to Paris and have said our official goodbyes to core team and Alyssa & Joe.

I'm not excited to go home. These two weeks have been two of the best weeks of my life, and now they're over... it all went by too fast. It's like as soon as I really started building my relationships with these kids, and these women, it was time to go home. I will be coming back to Africa. I really want to teach English here, but I'm not sure if it's just what I want or if it's really something God is calling me to. Which, I know it's easy to get back from a place and have all these crazy thoughts, but i feel like that's something I really would absolutely love to do.

I don't wanna forget what I've seen here in Africa the past two weeks. It's so easy to get so caught up in our normal every day routine of being so ungrateful.

I needed Africa more than Africa needed me.

day eleven.

Today was our last day. I thought it would be bittersweet leaving after two weeks, but it's not. I don't want to leave. ever.

We went to Naomi's early and gave them some of the supplies my moms class sent with us, and left around 12:30 and ate at a place called "mama's"...... interesting place. We went to IDP after eating, and I got to see Brian. He came right up to me for me to hold him. Harmonee, Sara, and I took him, Beyonce and his cousin Ian in a classroom and got to give them all shoes!! Bryan had only one shoe on, which was more than any of the other days when he had none on at all. It was incredible watching them get SHOES... their only pair. That slapped me in the face...thinking about all the shoes I have, most that I don't even wear.

Saying goodbye was tough. And with not knowing what will happen with the Naomi's situation & Brian and Beyonce...much less with them in general at all,  it was even harder. I'm not good with goodbyes in the first place so this situation didn't help any. I'm still trying not to think and pray negatively about all of this but instead trust God to take care of these babies... and do what HE knows is best. But it's so hard sometimes.... like what do you do when that's not his plan? God is still God and God is still good.... but why these babies? and why why why..... and I'll probably never know the answer to these questions of why them. Why Bryan and Beyonce. But He has a bigger and better plan than I can even imagine. I have to remember He is SOVEREIGN. afdbkajNfl I really can't process my thoughts right now.

I'm gonna miss all my little ones at Naomi's too, so so so so much.

Goodbyes really stink.


I am trying to work it out where I get to take my compassion child, Christine, her backpack of surprises I fixed for her to the compassion center tomorrow before we go to the airport.

day ten.

[ come be the fire inside of me. come be the flame upon my heart. You won't relent until you have it ALL. my heart is yours. ]

This morning the first group left. We had to say goodbyes, and so it's kinda starting to hit me we are about to have to go home too.

We went to Naomi's after everyone else left, and it was chai time for the kiddos. I got to sneak and see Kimberly, Sunni, and Erick though :)
                                               

After, the teachers had a meeting so they needed us to watch the classes. I went and helped with the early elementary kids. My class was the bomb. They were doing their math work and I had to check and grade what they did. They are all so smart! Just about all of them knew what they were doing and how to do it.

When the teachers finished their meeting, we went to IDP and fed the kids lunch (not the porridge.) It actually smelled kinda good. It looked a lot better than the porridge at least. I found my baby Bryan and got to feed him his lunch. But right after I fed him his grandma made him leave. Today, I found out him and his sister Beyonce's story. I'm in tears right now taking all of this in. Bryan and Beyonce are two of ten orphans. Thy live in an IDP house.. all ten of the orphans... with their HIV positive grandmother. Who is very sick, and there is no telling how much longer she will survive. Since she is this sick, she can hardly care for herself...much less ten children. (The grandmother is very sweet though and does love her grandchildren. It is just the state she is in that is unhealthy for the kids to be around.) So the 10 grandkids + 1 HIV positive grandmother live in this house. PLUS her other daughter and her son Ian (Bryan & Beyonce's aunt and cousin.)  THEREFORE, 10 orphans+HIV grandma+1 aunt+1 cousin=13 PEOPLE living in a house the size of my kitchen or smaller. That doesn't work!!!!!!! It can't! Seriously yall.... just imagine that. WE CAN'T. We have absolutely no idea how it is to live that way. 

BUT, there is a God-thing that might be possible.... with many prayers. Some of the leaders in our group have talked with Bob and Julie with Naomi's Village about them, and the social worker for Naomi's is looking into adopting Bryan and Beyonce. But because their grandmother is still in the picture, it changes things.... but is still possible things might work. How incredible would that be to see them get adopted by Naomi's?! If this happens, I will be going back to Naomi's. It would be amazing to see them happy, healthy, and SAFE, after seeing them where they came from... what they were rescued from. It gives me chills to think about. Isn't this what God does with us? He comes when we are in need. In our lowest, in our moments we need rescuing, and saves us! ADOPTS us. ahhhhhh. 

After IDP, we went to eat at FAV's (best restaurant in Africa.) They had friesssss eeek.  Then, we went to Lmuru to get some shoes for Joseph (from IDP's) daughter. She is playing soccer soon and wasn't going to be able to because she didn't have any cleats, so we all pitched in a bought her some cool ones! When we got back we played BS and made smores over the fire. 

Tomorrow is our last day. I'm depressed.

day nine.

Today we went to Namuncha Massai Village. I absolutely am in love with the Massai people. The kids, the women, EVERY ONE. The guys were finishing digging a trench for the bathroom stalls for the school. So, for like an hour the girls got to play with the kids and do whatever. After the kids' break ended, they went back to class, and I was able to go and sit in on a class!!!! It's so different than the classes in America. It's not divided into grades or anything. There are three classes. THREE. For the whole school. It's divided by the age groups, I think. I sat in on the middle aged class. The teacher had the kids sing us like five songs haha. It was adorable.

"You are so faithful, so faithful, so faithful. You are so faithful, all the time."

While I was outside and in the classroom I was attached to a little girl named Naomi. I don't think she could speak one bit of English, but we didn't even seem to pay any attention to that. All we would do was smile and laugh. I tickled her and hugged on her, and whenever we walked into the classroom after their break she held my hand the whole way there. Ahhhh melts my heart. The funniest part about it was when another little girl would try and grab onto my hand she would push them away and then look up at me. 

beautiful Naomi

While we were in the classroom, I got to hand out the bracelets I made to all the kids in the class- which was about 32. Some of the girls from my group who were in there helped tie them on all of them. 

We left the class around lunch and ate, then we got to go up to the church, and the Massai women had a bunch of jewelry laid out on the ground for us to buy. One of the guys from Love Africa is buying the jewelry in bulk and is going to sell it in the United States for more money, and then send the money back to the women! So, we picked out the items we thought would sell the best in America. I got some really cute bracelets and keychains from them. I absolutely love these women. They are all incredible!

Veronica- the pastors wife- dressed me up in all of this jewelry that the women in the Massai tribe wear when they get married!

We ended up getting to go to a near-by village in Namuncha and had the opportunity to go inside a mud house. The one we went in was only the kitchen part (the first picture below is the outside.) When I first walked inside I couldn't see anything. It took my eyes a minute to adjust. But it was tiny. Probably about the size of a walk in closet. Probably smaller. It was almost unbelievable to think they LIVE in that. Really live in a house made of mud and sticks...... when I'm 19 and live in a nice, big apartment. Paying each month what they make in 5 years. It makes me want to throw up just thinking about that. Why are Americans the way we are.

On our way to the village we saw Agnes!!!! The first little girl I met while in Africa. I'm obsessed w her. She is precious. We took pictures and held hands and taught each other handshake chant games (i can't remember what those are called for some reason.) This was a hard day because we orobably won't get to come back here. I don't want to think about all of this at allllll. 

When we told everyone bye, I blew Agnes kisses and all of the girls started blowing kisses. I'm not sure if they even knew what blowing a kiss was until I showed them.

We left at about 4 and on our way back Chris dropped me, May and Lindsey off at the Dukas. I didn't eat dinner tonight...not many of us did haha. We had sweet potato-apple-sausage bake.....and tonight is the first groups last night which is really sad. 

Chris's parents spoke during devos tonight and told us their "story." They are both missionaries in Africa. Their story was incredible, if I had time to type it all- I would. But they encouraged us and reminded us that whatever God calls me to, HE will make a way. HE will open the doors no one but Him can open. It's all HIM. All that I am required to do is to obey. I have absolutely no idea what God is calling me to do. All I know is that I love kids. I love crafts. and I love Jesus. Not sure whether I'll be in art, education, business, design, missions.... or what in ten years. But I pray that I obey God to wherever he leads me and calls me to do.

Two and a half days left here. Wahhh

I'm blessed by this place.